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@CollegeHumor
(CollegeHumor)
Official CH Twitter: staff tweets and links to favorite content. Staff: @bleepbloopjeff, @dangurewitch, @samreich, @sarahschneider, @jakeandamir, @streetseidell
@FakeAPStylebook
(Fake AP Stylebook)
Style tips for proper writing. contact: fakeapstylebook at gmail dot com. No submissions, please. All material copyright The Bureau Chiefs, LLC.
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@PeopleofWalmart
Alice In Walmart... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11249
02:16 AM, Mar 10 from web
02:16 AM, Mar 10 from web
@ICHCheezburger
Give a cat a cookie, http://chzb.gr/aNu4GS #cheezburger
02:15 AM, Mar 10 from twitterfeed
02:15 AM, Mar 10 from twitterfeed
@FailBlog
Church Sign Fail http://chzb.gr/bEoOzp #fail #cheezburger
12:49 AM, Mar 10 from twitterfeed
12:49 AM, Mar 10 from twitterfeed
@ICHCheezburger
Uh, if you go out looking like that http://chzb.gr/cvar7f #cheezburger
12:45 AM, Mar 10 from twitterfeed
12:45 AM, Mar 10 from twitterfeed
@CollegeHumor
I think China is trying to communicate with us through fortune cookies: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802446
12:07 AM, Mar 10 from web
12:07 AM, Mar 10 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
Remember: "its" means "it is" and "it's" is the possessive form of "it."
12:00 AM, Mar 10 from HootSuite
12:00 AM, Mar 10 from HootSuite
@ICHCheezburger
Basement Cat Exorcism Step 1 : http://chzb.gr/9GiD3i #cheezburger
09:15 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
09:15 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
@TheBloggess
http://blogs.chron.com/goodmombadmom/2010/03/i_am_worthy.html Much harder than it should have been. Your turn.
09:06 PM, Mar 09 from web
09:06 PM, Mar 09 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
In radio parlance, "wilco" means "will comply" and "roger" means a jolly good buggering.
09:00 PM, Mar 09 from HootSuite
09:00 PM, Mar 09 from HootSuite
@badbanana
Focus groups are still the best way to discover what people who don't value their time value.
08:39 PM, Mar 09 from web
08:39 PM, Mar 09 from web
@PeopleofWalmart
Bear Vs. Shark... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11237
08:23 PM, Mar 09 from web
08:23 PM, Mar 09 from web
@TheBloggess
RT: “I’m at 357 SW Appleberry Street and here's a link to a map of it for some reason.” #Juststopitalready
06:55 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:55 PM, Mar 09 from web
@TheBloggess
RT: “Let’s get the Jonas Bros/Justin Beiber/Twilight to trend!!!!! <33” #youdontgettousetwitteranymore
06:54 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:54 PM, Mar 09 from web
@TheBloggess
RT: “I need coffee.” #Yourenotaddinganythingtotheconversation
06:54 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:54 PM, Mar 09 from web
@TheBloggess
RT: “I hate Mondays.” #Shitthatnevershouldhavebeentweetedinthefirstplace
06:53 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:53 PM, Mar 09 from web
@TheBloggess
http://askthebloggess.pnn.com/13150-the-front-page Use twitter or you're probably going to get murdered.
06:44 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:44 PM, Mar 09 from web
@Broslife
I have a sense of humor. But not when it comes to an Armani super 220 merino wool bespoke suit. Respect the thread.
06:17 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:17 PM, Mar 09 from web
@gordonshumway
My dog is like a garbage disposal with legs. Also a garbage disposal that throws up in the guest room & triumphantly licks its own weiner.
06:02 PM, Mar 09 from web
06:02 PM, Mar 09 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
Chthulu - Ahhhhhhhhh! Noooooooo! AHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
06:00 PM, Mar 09 from HootSuite
06:00 PM, Mar 09 from HootSuite
@PeopleofWalmart
I Try To Say Goodbye & I Choke... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11233
04:56 PM, Mar 09 from TweetDeck
04:56 PM, Mar 09 from TweetDeck
@FailBlog
Wedding Reception Fail http://chzb.gr/9OJFso #fail #cheezburger
04:35 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
04:35 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
@badbanana
Preparing for St. Patrick's Day by building up my tolerance for beard puke. So far, still squeamish.
04:18 PM, Mar 09 from web
04:18 PM, Mar 09 from web
@PeopleofWalmart
Right Near Da Beach... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11222
03:05 PM, Mar 09 from web
03:05 PM, Mar 09 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
Revenue from personals ads lost to Craigslist can be recouped by just going ahead and creating a "hookers" category.
03:00 PM, Mar 09 from HootSuite
03:00 PM, Mar 09 from HootSuite
@gordonshumway
My International Women's Day celebration is late. I guess that means I'm pregnant.
01:17 PM, Mar 09 from web
01:17 PM, Mar 09 from web
@FailBlog
Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Have you seen Amy Winehouse? http://chzb.gr/965Jpb #fail #cheezburger
01:14 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
01:14 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
@ICHCheezburger
I haz self-control. http://chzb.gr/9Djyyx #cheezburger
12:15 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
12:15 PM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
@ICHCheezburger
Kitteh just wants to cuddle http://chzb.gr/dgKwBi #cheezburger
10:45 AM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
10:45 AM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
@badbanana
I watch this three times a day to reduce my Winter Olympics withdrawal symptoms: http://is.gd/a0kAu
04:43 AM, Mar 09 from web
04:43 AM, Mar 09 from web
@badbanana
The oldest living American has died at the age of 114. Pretty sure that opening number at the Oscars was the final straw.
04:18 AM, Mar 09 from web
04:18 AM, Mar 09 from web
@PeopleofWalmart
Slam Dunk Da Funk... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11212
02:08 AM, Mar 09 from web
02:08 AM, Mar 09 from web
@ICHCheezburger
Precarious you say? http://chzb.gr/aGdK6I #cheezburger
12:45 AM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
12:45 AM, Mar 09 from twitterfeed
@badbanana
Pro Tip: Ask to speak to Monday's manager. I just complained and got a $10 gift card to Staples. (Score!)
11:20 PM, Mar 08 from web
11:20 PM, Mar 08 from web
@CollegeHumor
4 things you can't do on Chatroulette: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802150
10:43 PM, Mar 08 from web
10:43 PM, Mar 08 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
When referencing "Johnson & Johnson," be sure to note that the second "Johnson" refers to the first's junk.
09:00 PM, Mar 08 from HootSuite
09:00 PM, Mar 08 from HootSuite
@badbanana
Not funny, people. I lost both my parents to a Hot Tub Time Machine.
07:11 PM, Mar 08 from web
07:11 PM, Mar 08 from web
@Broslife
Step 1:Buy a fake oscar from a memorabilia store. Step 2:Say you won it for something like sound mixing. Step 3: Get laid.
06:35 PM, Mar 08 from web
06:35 PM, Mar 08 from web
@CollegeHumor
Die Hardly Working - Our truly epic, special fx-crammed CH action movie. http://bit.ly/aUdzah
06:29 PM, Mar 08 from web
06:29 PM, Mar 08 from web
@awkwardfamily
@tablehopper @SwapMamas @maxkalehoff Wow, thanx for all the tweets. ✌
06:21 PM, Mar 08 from web
06:21 PM, Mar 08 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
Emphasize the most important sentences in your story by ending them with "SON." "The County Commission voted 7-2 to pass its budget, SON."
06:00 PM, Mar 08 from HootSuite
06:00 PM, Mar 08 from HootSuite
@PeopleofWalmart
Pink Taco... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11200
05:13 PM, Mar 08 from TweetDeck
05:13 PM, Mar 08 from TweetDeck
@FailBlog
Celebration Fail http://chzb.gr/9xzOtI #fail #cheezburger
04:39 PM, Mar 08 from twitterfeed
04:39 PM, Mar 08 from twitterfeed
@FakeAPStylebook
The "Italian Hyphen A" should only be used in quotes from actual plumbers or occasionally in relevant headlines ("IT'S-A REGICIDE!")
03:00 PM, Mar 08 from HootSuite
03:00 PM, Mar 08 from HootSuite
@FailBlog
Aww. Someone’s a bit special, aren’t they? http://tinyurl.com/yerf74v #fail #cheezburger
01:16 PM, Mar 08 from twitterfeed
01:16 PM, Mar 08 from twitterfeed
@badbanana
If I'd wanted to watch four hours of something this boring I would have gone to see Avatar.
05:42 AM, Mar 08 from web
05:42 AM, Mar 08 from web
@badbanana
This dance montage is part of Obama's job program. All out of work factory workers.
04:49 AM, Mar 08 from web
04:49 AM, Mar 08 from web
@gordonshumway
I just won the Oscar for Outstanding Achievement in Standing at the Sink Eating a Hot Dog & Revisiting Every Bad Decision I've Ever Made.
03:09 AM, Mar 08 from web
03:09 AM, Mar 08 from web
@PeopleofWalmart
Poppin' Fresh... http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=11186
02:05 AM, Mar 08 from TweetDeck
02:05 AM, Mar 08 from TweetDeck
@FailBlog
The economy is hitting us all pretty hard http://chzb.gr/aP0MAA #fail #cheezburger
01:16 PM, Mar 07 from twitterfeed
01:16 PM, Mar 07 from twitterfeed
@Broslife
Ties are multi purposeful. They can be used as blindfolds, to tie someone to a bedpost, or even as a whip. Other ways ties can be used?
01:15 AM, Mar 07 from web
01:15 AM, Mar 07 from web
@awkwardfamily
Thank you: @sarahbatz @PaulPeros @smcnary @noah_skape @laura_fahn @_nephilim @zimmiezelda @thefragile367 for the #ff ♥
05:10 AM, Mar 06 from web
05:10 AM, Mar 06 from web
@FakeAPStylebook
When a public figure denounces homosexuality, prepare accordingly for said public figure's eventual outing.
12:00 AM, Mar 06 from HootSuite
12:00 AM, Mar 06 from HootSuite
@FakeAPStylebook
Although often mistyped as "low and behold", the actual phrase is "lo and behowld."
09:00 PM, Mar 05 from HootSuite
09:00 PM, Mar 05 from HootSuite
@CollegeHumor
Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2010 -- http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802286
08:46 PM, Mar 05 from web
08:46 PM, Mar 05 from web
@CollegeHumor
3 Awesome Craigslist Posts: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802283
08:35 PM, Mar 05 from web
08:35 PM, Mar 05 from web
@CollegeHumor
The LaBeouf family curse revealed! http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802261
11:46 PM, Mar 04 from web
11:46 PM, Mar 04 from web
@CollegeHumor
Every situation really ends with a bang. http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802220
11:56 PM, Mar 03 from web
11:56 PM, Mar 03 from web
@gordonshumway
"The Sixth Sense" would've been infinitely more disturbing if the kid could've only smelled the dead people.
11:34 PM, Mar 03 from web
11:34 PM, Mar 03 from web
@CollegeHumor
Patrick & Dan as Penn & Teller in "Bullet Trick": http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1929378
09:42 PM, Mar 03 from web
09:42 PM, Mar 03 from web
@gordonshumway
I've never regretted buying an HDTV until tonight, until I noticed Ellen DeGeneres' neck skin.
02:24 AM, Mar 03 from web
02:24 AM, Mar 03 from web
@CollegeHumor
5 videogame character Twitter accounts: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1801490
11:54 PM, Mar 02 from web
11:54 PM, Mar 02 from web
@Broslife
Looks like it's four more years until "I'm an Olympic bobsledder" will get you laid again.
10:56 PM, Mar 02 from web
10:56 PM, Mar 02 from web
@Broslife
There's only two things better then hot drunk twins.....hot drunk triplets and hot drunk quadruplets.
02:32 AM, Mar 02 from web
02:32 AM, Mar 02 from web
@gordonshumway
OK, dog, just because I have to watch you pee doesn't mean that you have to do the same to me. That goes for you too, upstairs neighbor.
02:17 PM, Mar 01 from web
02:17 PM, Mar 01 from web
@Broslife
Sunday morning is Saturday night's evil ugly sister. It hurts even to look at her.
08:18 PM, Feb 28 from web
08:18 PM, Feb 28 from web
@gordonshumway
Two Duraflame logs. A box of Milk Bones. A bottle of Astroglide. Try to figure me out, Walgreens cashier. Just try.
05:28 PM, Feb 28 from web
05:28 PM, Feb 28 from web
@Broslife
Ladies...Ask not what Barney Stinson can do for you ....Ask what you can do for Barney Stinson.
08:25 PM, Feb 26 from web
08:25 PM, Feb 26 from web
@gordonshumway
Sephora just sent me a sample of Kat Von D's perfume. It smells like stale booze, bad decisions and hepatitis.
05:30 PM, Feb 25 from web
05:30 PM, Feb 25 from web
@gordonshumway
I just won 3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies on eBay. The only way my life could be sadder is if I had to wear a mask made of my 10th grade face
04:22 PM, Feb 25 from Birdhouse
04:22 PM, Feb 25 from Birdhouse
@gordonshumway
When your mother asks if you are sexually active, the correct response is not "No, I just lie there."
01:18 AM, Feb 25 from web
01:18 AM, Feb 25 from web